Tag: mental health
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I miss Poland, terribly
I didn’t get to blog very often recently and I don’t think this is going to change. One reason is I now have permanent job, the other is the fact that my olanzapine tablets improved my emotional regulation so I don’t have to use my blog to vent. This festive season was a bit difficult…
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R.I.P. Ashley
Do you remember Ashley Peterson, the mental health blogger who used to comment on my posts a lot before I cosed comments? She passed away on the 9th of October and her family hinted on the blog she commited suicide. What else those words could mean? ‘She could no longer bear the suffering she was…
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A few more words about punishment
Today after work I waited 40 minutes for a bus that was supposed to be there every 10 minutes. And it was freezing! I would normally get home in 15 minutes walk but I had the idea to go to Lidl for some groceries. I have a lot of food at home but I was…
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I’m not a role model, am I?
When I started blogging that was how I saw it: I wanted to use this platform to somehow give other autistic people guidance on how to live their life and to do that I felt I needed to improve myself first. What happened instead I turned the blog into journal. Is it useful? I don’t…
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This option is not available. Trigger warning
It came to a point that I Googled assisted death in Netherlands. Unfortunately I don’t experience ‘unbearable suffering with no prospect of improvement’. It feels unbearable at times but I didn’t really try to improve my mental health. Anyway, as I said on the blog a few times, I believe my suicidal thoughts are a…
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Word count
I finished polishing my uni assignment today and guess what? We were meant to write 2000 words and the word ‘around’ wasn’t included in the brief. I was obviously worried that if I write 1900 it may be too little while 2100 may be too many so I monitored my word count very closely and,…
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John said he missed me
And those two words made me feel like he really is on my side; like if he’s waiting for me to get better. You see, communicating with a depressed autistic person is really not that difficult. He also said I may need to go to a doctor. But I don’t want to; it would mean…
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To believe or not to believe?
I’m just reading ‘Dancing with Dementia’, a book by Christine Bryder, an author and advocate with young onset Alzheimer disease. Christine says at the beginning of the book that she asked her church group to pray for her shortly after her diagnosis and they did, they specifically decided to pray for her recovery. She was…
Autistic and me 