Tag: mental health
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John said he missed me
And those two words made me feel like he really is on my side; like if he’s waiting for me to get better but not pushing for it. You see, communicating with a depressed autistic person is really not that difficult. He also said I may need to go to doctor. But I don’t want…
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To believe or not to believe?
I’m just reading ‘Dancing with Dementia’, a book by Christine Bryder, an author and advocate with young onset Alzheimer disease. Christine says at the beginning of the book that she asked her church group to pray for her shortly after her diagnosis and they did, they specifically decided to pray for her recovery. She was…
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Saturday catch up (getting rid of my delusions)
Yes, yes, I know, I wrote a blog post yesterday. However. I thought ‘catch up’ is such a nice and innocent phrase. Do you know what is my most popular blog post so far? It’s this one: Is Boris Johnson autistic? 61 views so far. I told you, I’m not a very popular blogger. As…
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The beauty of an empty mind
I’m not sure how I’m going to keep the blog going, although does that really matter when no one really reads it. My mind is totally empty, I’m not sure if it’s olanzapine or the fact I’m now focused on my studies or a bit of both, but I don’t have any content in my…
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I don’t want to focus on any external stimuli today
As you may be aware I decided not to meet John today. I don’t know what it is exactly: side effect of medication, side effect of psychosis, laziness, low motivation, trying to save up all the mental energy for going back to work next week or just me being my autistic self, but I feel…
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Freedom of speech
As I mentioned in my last post, my statistics are really poor lately, they are probably even worse than when I just started blogging but I still have some views on most of the days. As I was thinking about it I realised I am actually looking forward to that moment when I loose all…
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Me on olanzapine
I think I have been on it for long enough to write a little sum up. I am only on 5mg, which is considered a small dose. When I was on it the first time a few years ago it was 10mg. Even on 5mg I managed to sleep 10 hours on a couple of…
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I mustn’t eat those mince pies
John came over and brought some mince pies. Normally I’d have one after dinner but the thought I need to go back on olanzapine made me realise something: I have to learn to say no to food! Otherwise I’ll explode one day or at least won’t be able to get through the door. When I…
Autistic and me 