Tag: mum
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I miss John, terribly
I started feeling better on lamotrigine already but for around a week now my depression seems to be coming back. I didn’t see John last weekend and I won’t see him this weekend either. Can someone explain to me how it is possible that I miss him so badly but at the same time it…
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Why do people gossip at work?
I had this idea a few weeks ago to start posting about concepts that I read in psychology books and I don’t think this is going to work. I borrowed ‘Read people’ by Rita Carter from the library and it took me two days to read it. Obviously I was also doing other things, like…
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Empathetic listening (is communication taboo?)
Yesterday I was meant to have my first phone session with a bereavement volunteer from Cruse but I somehow forgot about it and didn’t answer the call. She emailed me later so I apologised but straight away thought, wait a minute, do I want a stranger to demonstrate empathetic listening to me over the phone…
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Eat regular meals and masturbate
1. The Friend asked me a few days ago not to comment on my blog on what she says or does other than something very general like where we went for a trip. It was quite difficult for me to accept that but it quickly became obvious that I have no choice but to get…
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Mum is always right
I wanted to go to Cirencester today, which is a small but lovely town not too far from Swindon. There is a bus service that goes to Cirencester once a day and I can catch it from my regular bus stop instead of going to bus station. However, the service has no time table printed…
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Emotional regulation for autistics
I did wonder on my blog a couple of times what it means that autistic people have difficulties with emotional regulation, and neurotypicals find it easier. I never found any explanation for how neurotypicals do that and it did sound to me like after several minutes of being upset they just tell themselves ‘ok, it’s…
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I had a dream that my mum simulated her own death (should I be talking meds ‘for autism’?)
Last night I had that dream: I was in Poland and mum was with me. She was able to walk and speak normally. I don’t know how I found her but at some point I started wondering how come she’s alive and where she actually lives if I cancelled her care home payments. Then neighbours…
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A few more words about unmasking
Yesterday I wrote that I always feel like I’m acting when I’m around other people and later on I realised that is not technically correct. I don’t ALWAYS feel like I’m acting, I only feel like I’m acting when I’m about to say something and I’m deciding what that should be. So I presume I…
Autistic and me 