I’m not quite sure what happened; I was reading yet another book about dementia and I realised suddenly that having a family is a good thing. I presume this realisation could only happen for me when the family I was brought up in stopped existing. Yes, there still is my alcoholic brother but I don’t have to take care of him, do I?

My family always felt like such a burden to me, with all the problems that they had. We had, I should have said.

And now, suddenly, I feel like the burden is gone. I feel like I can be myself again. And for those couple of minutes I wanted to have a child. Because it’s what normal people, without problems, do: they set up their own families and take care of the children. However, I’ll be 45 in a couple of weeks. That’s a bit late, isn’t it?

But then, if I couldn’t decide to have a child when I was younger, because of too much drama with my parents and brother, should I not be given reasonable adjustments and a chance to make that work somehow?

Like possibly by adopting a grown up. Someone who’s in their early 20s would be ideal. I wonder whether they’d listen to my advice on life. Like for example ‘don’t drink too much, keep away from drugs and don’t spend too much, but if you have to spend some money before you become a serious adult, it’s better to go travelling than to have a new set of fake eyelashes every two weeks, believe me.’

No, they probably wouldn’t so it may be that I need to find someone who has similar values to mine. Do you know of any scheme that allows to adopt an adult? If you do, please let me know.

And on a more positive note, I am starting to suspect that Home Group blocked me on twitter. Finally! I don’t know what took them so long.