Tag: dad
-
Can intention shape our lives?
It’s almost Easter. John is coming over tomorrow but only for a couple of hours as I don’t feel very well mentally. Or possibly I should have said I didn’t feel very well till just a few days ago. I was depressed, but not hopeless and sad; it was very strange because my mood was…
-
Why do people love Costa?
I found out a few days ago that Costa gives clients free slice of cake (or muffin, shortbread or other sweet treat) on their birthday, you just need Costa app to claim it. I’m not a big Costa lover but I thought I’d give it a try. I downloaded the app and went for my…
-
I think my communication skills have been blocked by life (but I want to be left alone)
I am thinking that possibly I am not a great communicator not only ‘because I’m autistic’ but because my communication skills have been blocked when I was younger. First, it was not possible in my family to ask why certain things are happening, at least not when my dad was around. Mum was happy to…
-
Emotional regulation for autistics
I did wonder on my blog a couple of times what it means that autistic people have difficulties with emotional regulation, and neurotypicals find it easier. I never found any explanation for how neurotypicals do that and it did sound to me like after several minutes of being upset they just tell themselves ‘ok, it’s…
-
What would my mum like?
People often say, after someone who’s close to them passed away, that they do something because they know that person would like that. And I wonder now, how do they know that? I have no idea what my mum woud like. Even though she used to ask quite regularly if I’m going to marry John,…
-
How I really feel?
I noticed the last couple of days that my blog posts become significantly shorter. I seem to stop analysing my feelings. And in fact I don’t feel that drama in my chest that I used to feel when things didn’t go according to plan. So if I don’t feel drama, I don’t need to post…
-
There will be no future
That’s how I feel right now – again. It’s 4.40am and it’s Monday. I only just woke up, after having a strange, disturbing dream: I visited my family home and, as I was walking through it, I felt that depressing energy that was trying to suck me in. It was like two black holes, one…
Autistic and me 