I had this idea a few weeks ago to start posting about concepts that I read in psychology books and I don’t think this is going to work. I borrowed ‘Read people’ by Rita Carter from the library and it took me two days to read it. Obviously I was also doing other things, like watching reels of wifes playing pranks on their husbands on Facebook (I always wonder how this is supposed to be funny).

The book is actually quite good, but it doesn’t reasonate with me enough to try to really share the content, except of two concepts: apparently men who have wide faces are more competitive and more likely to lie to get what they want. I never heard that before. Is John’s face wide? Well, it’s definitely not narrow but I don’t think it’s especially wide, thank god!

The other interesting idea is that people at work, across a variety of industries, spend 42% of time gossiping and they apparently use gossip to monitor what’s going on. You may be aware I don’t like gossiping, especially when it’s prolonged but I can see how it can be used to monitor what is going on in the company. Still, I don’t understand what people do with this knowledge; at the end of the day everyone has to do their jobs and if so much time needs to be used to obtain a couple of bits of information it’s just not worth it in my humble opinion.

Also I wonder if 42% is not an exaggeration?

The book is definitely worth reading but I wouldn’t expect an autistic person will get a breakthrough from it. It was a lot of effort to read it for two days only to write this short post.

I just came back from work, a busy early shift, and I’m drinking beanies coffee, caramel flavour. This is an attempt to create a new habit: instead of eating sweets to relax I have a flavoured coffee with just one teaspoon of sugar (I may try sweetener instead in a couple of days). Apparently, if we want to get rid of unhealthy habit, we should replace it with a healthier one instead of just getting rid of it. I can see this actually working for me: I can’t help that I crave ‘something special’ to reward myself for an effort I do at work.

I believe my job is doing ok, I got used to the routine and learned everyone’s needs; this always makes it easier to navigate the shift. I hope everything will go well and I will pass my probation, which I should know in two weeks but so far no one told me that there’s been any issues.

Apart from that I miss Poland, as usual. My life feels empty without the idea that there’s someone waiting for me there. I sometimes think about my mum, who’s favourite question for me was ‘when are you coming over?’. Never, mummy. You know that my brother is not really bothered and anyway, I do not want to see him drunk and neglected. It’s not that I do not care; I do but there’s nothing I can do. And I do apologise that I’ve never come to see your grave.

I was going to but got scared of the war. And with my mental health, you have to understand.