Tag: brother
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How my mum ended up living with me
Over a year ago my mum passed out and was taken to a hospital. It’s not clear who called an ambulance, social services say it was her support worker who used to come twice a week for a bit and my brother says it was him. She was in the hospital for a few days…
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Enablers
After it’s been raining heavily it turned out we have a leak in the kitchen. Mum replaced all the roof, including beams a few years ago but there was a big hailstorm this spring that did some damage and that never got fixed. This morning brother seemed quite concerned about the leak. I don’t want…
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Am I a bad daughter?
I have the impression that, according to society expectations, or at least how it looks in Poland, loving an elderly parent means protecting them from reality but what I was doing instead was trying to get my mum to face it. So for example, as a loving daughter, I should be regularly sending money to my…
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Immaturity
I did hear that autistic people are immature and I wonder sometimes what that actually means. If I wasn’t autistic, would I deal any better with this situation? Would I not be fed up? Would I not believe that money should be spent on home improvement rather than putting elderly relatives into care homes? Especially…
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I think I’m depressed
I didn’t even properly leave the bed. Only went to the kitchen for breakfast and lunch. I’m in some kind of half asleep state and I have no hope. But I don’t even know what the hope could be for. There’s nothing waiting for me in this life, I don’t think so. I don’t even…
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Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of…
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On the way back from Łódź
So I saw The Friend today. It did help a bit, both talking to her but also being away. I still feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have to make all the decisions myself. Obviously I spoke with The Friend but she cannot tell me what to do. It almost feels to me that…
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I want magic
That’s what one of Redecor challenges is called. I read it and thought I want magic too. But magic is not going to happen. My brother now says he doesn’t want my share of the house, even though it would come with a small piece of land that he could sell. He probably decided it’s…
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One level above everyone else
I was always being protected from the truth about my brother, in a way. Yes, mum would tell me about his behaviour but when it came to actually dealing with him I’d make sure I’m not involved. My mum had to do it. It never worked as he just screamed at her. When mum was…
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Spoke with my brother
He’s not sure if he wants my share of the house. He’ll tell me tomorrow. He’s drunk and claims he’s ‘one level above everyone else’, whatever that could mean. He said again that mum has to be back home, even if she’s in the wheelchair and I decide to come back to the UK. He’ll…
Autistic and me 