I have the impression that, according to society expectations, or at least how it looks in Poland, loving an elderly parent means protecting them from reality but what I was doing instead was trying to get my mum to face it.

So for example I should have regularly sent money to my brother and paid his bills but tell mum that he paid them himself and that I spoke with the neighbours and they said he’s not drinking. And he’s only not answering her phonecalls because he’s busy with work. He works every single day now because he wants to change.

But I couldn’t do that. I can’t lie this way, plus what purpose does it serve? Nothing can ever get solved like that, it only gets manipulated around. But then, that’s why mum can’t walk now and it’s not like if my brother cares.

So possibly I was not right either. Truth doesn’t bring clarity. What does? Can someone tell me, I’m totally lost.

What can one do if they have an alcoholic in the family?