Tag: brother
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I feel exhausted (my body image)
I wonder how this is actually possible? After all that sleep I had yesterday? I think I also had a nap after lunch today but I’m not sure. I mean, I just don’t remember what I was doing between 2 and 3.30 pm. I typed up an email for John, one that adressed his point…
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I really am in danger. It makes sense now.
I just got an email newsletter titled ‘How to cure sore throat naturally’. I thought, I didn’t have a sore throat in twenty years, so I deleted it without reading. And then I shivered. It reminded me of the fact that I am possibly in danger from my brother. Possibly. I mean, I still wish…
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My Sunday
I still feel reasonably calm, considering what is happening and I also managed to sleep OK last night, the same like the last couple of nights. It was six hours only, which is not a lot since I started using Sleep School app but considering what I am going through and the fact I didn’t…
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Should we behave normally when we’re in danger?
Today YouTube recommended me that strange song that lyrics I couldn’t even understand, except of the few words that really draw my attention: ‘it ends in prison or with funerals’. That got me feel scared again. I realised the neighbour who helped my brother organise mum’s funeral mentioned something about family graveyard, that it may…
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I have no sense of danger
What just happened now is so scary. I had this idea to reject my part of the inheritance so thst my brother gets it. Not that I want to do that really, and it’s certainly not what my mum wanted. But I can already imagine the fight between me and my brother if he already…
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Expectations vs reality
I was at work yesterday for 24h (which includes sleep in) and although I could technically post on the sleep in shift, I didn’t feel like it. It was a bit of a difficult day, considering what I’m going through but sometimes it really is much easier to focus on work. Yesterday in the morning…
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I’m trying to be kind to my brother
And let me be honest here: I don’t feel like being kind at all. I am just trying, for the sake of it. Because, possibly I didn’t try enough in the past? I don’t know. He was mean to me so many times. Or, if he wasn’t mean, he was just being stupid and made…
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Punished by my brother
So at first my brother ignored the fact that my mum needed a funeral, now, after being supported by the neighbour he made the decision: funeral is going to be on the 1st of February. It’s been already arranged with the priest and I found out from the neighbour. It doesn’t matter if I can…
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I wish for an ordinary day
You know what, I’m seriously fed up with all those Bank Holidays, which is how days free of normal working patterns are called in the UK. First of all I don’t understand the word ‘bank’ – where does it come from, I have no idea. Moreover, no one who I asked had any idea either.…
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I want my mum
I spoke with mum the first time in a bit today, as she wasn’t feeling good earlier. Nurses never asked me to speak with her regardless and I felt uncomfortable askig for it, also, if I have to be totally honest, I didn’t want to speak with her knowing that she may be unable to…
Autistic and me 