Tag: psychosis
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Noise
I was woken up by some noise, like if someone was walking (there’s another person in the hostel) and I thought it was my dad. He used to walk through the house at night when other people were sleeping. And then I realised I’m not at home and my dad died a year and a…
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Coping
I was just thinking how mum always tried to help me to cope with things. She didn’t seem to understand the world around her very well but had good ideas sometimes. Her ideas helped me organise a lift to the airport at the beginning of lockdown when majority of buses got cancelled and we only…
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Morning of The Day
I’ll be leaving my hostel in a few minutes to get to mum’s care home to sign power of attorney. Google map says it’s 30 minutes walk, that means I need to allocate at least 45. Weather is not very nice but it’s not raining. The night in a hostel was OK. For the price…
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Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of…
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One level above everyone else
I was always being protected from the truth about my brother, in a way. Yes, mum would tell me about his behaviour but when it came to actually dealing with him I’d make sure I’m not involved. My mum had to do it. It never worked as he just screamed at her. When mum was…
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Woke up early
I went to sleep just after 22.30 and woke up before 2am. That’s not a lot of sleep, but should be ok in terms of my mental health (my two psychotic episodes were inducted by stress and insomnia.) Strange that I don’t feel tired at all. It would still be nice to sleep now. It’s…
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Never say that to psychiatric patient with Asperger’s
When I was in psychiatric hospital after my second psychotic episode I asked the staff what is going to happen with me if I don’t get better and he said ‘Just take your medication’. For me that sounded like if he was telling me to take an overdose. Of course I knew that’s not what…
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The neurotypical disorder
I’m not someone who claims autism is not a disability. Oh, by all means, it is. It was the inability to predict other people behaviour that put me into all those troubles with Home Group and the employment tribunal case, where I ended up developing psychotic episode. That wasn’t what I wanted, believe me. You…
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Do we need the diagnosis?
I asked that question on my female autism group and almost all responses said we do. Why? For adjustments, protection from discrimination and for self awareness and acceptance. NHS waiting times are too long and some of us, expecially females, are being refused diagnosis due to what GP or even the diagnostic team sees as…
Autistic and me 