Tag: mum
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Coping
I was just thinking how mum always tried to help me to cope with things. She didn’t seem to understand the world around her very well but had good ideas sometimes. Her ideas helped me organise a lift to the airport at the beginning of lockdown when majority of buses got cancelled and we only…
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How my mum ended up living with me
Over a year ago my mum passed out and was taken to a hospital. It’s not clear who called an ambulance, social services say it was her support worker who used to come twice a week for a bit and my brother says it was him. She was in the hospital for a few days…
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I miss mum
After the situation when my mum was asleep when I called, I didn’t call again. I find it very difficult to speak with her. I wouldn’t know what to say if she says she wants to be back in Smardzewice, where her home is. It would be very difficult for me to decide if I…
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Shutdown
It’s midday and the only thing I did so far was collecting my daily gold gift on Redecor. I’m staying in bed, trying to rest. I took olanzapine yesterday late evening as I couldn’t calm my thinking process. It’s so difficult to make sense of things and accept this family situation is my new normal…
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The call
I wanted to call my mum and the nurse passed the phone to her but I guess she didn’t make sure my mum is fully awake (she likes her afternoon nap) and there was only silence there so I disconnected the call, slightly irritated and then I thought: that is what is going to happen…
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It’s hard to imagine, I know
It is said that people with Asperger’s can’t imagine how others are feeling and what to say to make them feel better. But then, it was my neurotypical colleague who used to say that the problems that I have with my mum are not real problems, because her mum had Alzheimer’s and taking care of…
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Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of…
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Walk to the lake
I had a walk to the lake and got an ice cream there. It was rather chilly when I was leaving the house and then suddenly got quite hot. That’s what we used to do with mum when I was at home for the weekend and the weather was nice: having a walk to the…
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Hindsight
I sometimes think I didn’t deal with my mum very well when she was staying with me. Possibly I should have asked the doctor for some antidepressants for her, but I didn’t really know how to direct the attention to her mental health. She has some issues with medication, almost everything seems to make her…
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On the way back from Łódź
So I saw The Friend today. It did help a bit, both talking to her but also being away. I still feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have to make all the decisions myself. Obviously I spoke with The Friend but she cannot tell me what to do. It almost feels to me that…
Autistic and me 