Tag: mum
-
I feel so independent now
Don’t get me wrong, my mum was a lovely person, and very helpful. But I often felt like she was holding me hostage. It was very subtle and quite possibly a neurotypical person wouldn’t really notice that or coped with it better. I felt she was constantly worrying about me and wanted me to prove…
-
Am I totally normal?
I went on a trip to Oxford. Is that a normal thing to do 4 days after one receives a message about their mum death? Well, I don’t know, but I guess as I’m autistic, I can’t be normal, can I? I first went to that Lebanon restaurant called Comptoir Lebanais, it’s a place full…
-
I’m getting bitter, I suppose
This is, I think, how my mum’s death affects me (and I’m sorry, I don’t like ‘passed away’ expression, it doesn’t sound definite enough for me, like if the person may still come back). I don’t miss her. I guess I got used to the fact that I’d never speak to her again, we’d never…
-
I feel so alone now
So that’s what happened: I have no family now. My brother is not a family, he can’t offer me any support – even now, in this difficult situation he says to call him tomorrow. I wonder if he comes for a funeral, although he apparently went to dad’s. Or at least that’s what mum said.…
-
I can’t grieve
Possibly you find it strange that I post just after my mum died. But I’m not doing that for attention – I don’t get much of that from the blog. The purpose of the blog is to record how I feel and think but also to unload my emotions. Before I started blogging I used…
-
My mum died
Her care home called me around 30 minutes ago and I kind of knew that was it. Possibly because they never call? If there was an issue, they emailed and told me to call them back. She was apparently doing ok, had her supper like every day and then… it’s very sudden. I called my…
-
Sexual abuse and communication (what my mum used to say)
Ok, I felt a bit uncomfortable while deciding if I should blog about it or not, but then I blog about life as an autistic female and sexuality is part of life, isn’t it? So it shouldn’t be omitted. There is some talk about sexuality and autistic females online already and I find it all…
-
I wish for an ordinary day
You know what, I’m seriously fed up with all those Bank Holidays, which is how days free of normal working patterns are called in the UK. First of all I don’t understand the word ‘bank’ – where does it come from, I have no idea. Moreover, no one who I asked had any idea either.…
-
I’m such a lucky girl!
After publishing my last post – that one about punishment – it was brought to my attention that possibly what I am describing (recognising punishment where there is none) is not caused by my ability to recognise patterns but by my difficult childhood experiences. I’d like to discuss that further here. I did mention here…
-
Mum is going to heaven
I posted a few times about how I understand symbols and how they help me identify my emotions. I actually regret now that I didn’t give that topic a separate tag – they are all under communication tag. I may go back to those posts and rectify that but it won’t be today. Just to…
Autistic and me 