Tag: Poland
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Focusing on obstacles
When I’m stressed I focused on obstacles more than on the end result. Even when the issue is small, in my mind it becomes a massive problem. Just today I had to order pressure sores dressings for mum (meds are not free for seniors in Poland, like they are in the UK) so I found…
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Hospital food
I don’t suppose I’ve ever mentioned here what food we were been given when I was in psychiatric hospital in Poland? First of all there was absolutely no choice of what we were getting so if one was vegetarian and we had ham and bread for supper, they could only eat bread and butter –…
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Home at last
I felt very weird when I got into my flat yesterday, it seemed like something is different. I remember thinking to myself ‘this is your home now’. I never thought about it as my home, home was in Smardzewice, the flat in Swindon was only a place where I lived. I suppose now, after I…
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How does dementia start?
I didn’t sleep very long again but I should be ok. I’m thinking now that I’m glad I came and even that I lost my ID and had to stay longer. Due to that I could have seen how my mum’s mental state deteriorated, if I didn’t see that I would not believe she has…
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I’m not going back
My emotions are so raw now. I don’t want to go anywhere, I feel so bad for leaving my mum now, when she needs me more than anything. She has care but… I need to be able to see her. To see how she’s coping. To see how much she changed. What if she doesn’t…
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Silent meltdown
Meltdown is apparently when an autistic person loses touch with reality, may scream, cry or even lay down under the table. Well, at least that’s what I was made to believe. I never behave this way. I feel like I’m screaming inside but I keep my cool. I was probably screaming as a child at…
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Errands
I spent today running the last of my errands. Mum insists on me to pay her bills, which are technically my brother’s now as it’s only him who lives in the house, but everything is registered on her. It’s not always easy to pay the bills online here and I have the impression that there’s…
Autistic and me 