Autistic and me

Being myself

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  • I’ve withdrawn from uni

    University of Hull offered me a full refund for my course and, with a heavy heart, I accepted it. I am still glad that I went for it and maybe I needed to make that quick, impulsive decision I made while standing in a corridor of a Sandalwood (Swindon mental hospital) at the end of […]

    Magda Z.

    December 5, 2022
    Uncategorized
    autism characteristics, education, social care
  • Very grey thinking

    I imagined yesterday evening that I was practicing grey thinking. It felt very easy and I had the impression that I could master it and then, when I tried to think about writing my next uni assignment, I immediately started feeling tense again. I presume the fact that I don’t insist on leaving my uni […]

    Magda Z.

    December 3, 2022
    Uncategorized
    autism characteristics, education
  • Always playing a devil’s advocate

    According to Cambridge dictionary a devil’s advocate is ‘someone who pretends, in an argument or discussion, to be against an idea or plan that a lot of people support, in order to make people discuss and consider it in more detail’ I just finished a meeting with two tutors from my uni and it was […]

    Magda Z.

    December 2, 2022
    Uncategorized
    autism characteristics, education
  • A few more words about punishment

    After work I waited 40 minutes for a bus that was supposed to be there every 10 minutes. And it was freezing! I would normally get home in 15 minutes walk but I had the idea to go to Lidl for some groceries. I have a lot of what I needed at home but I […]

    Magda Z.

    December 2, 2022
    Uncategorized
    autism characteristics, mental health
  • My personal values

    In the book I’m reading, ‘How confidence works’ by Ian Robertson I found this set of personal values: Relationship with family and friends Being creative Having a sense of humour (I didn’t know this can be a value) Independence Business or work Political commitment Religious or moral values Living life for the moment; being spontaneous […]

    Magda Z.

    December 2, 2022
    Uncategorized
    mental health
  • Fantasising doesn’t work

    I’m just reading about an interesting research: apparently fantasising about a positive future makes it less likely that the fantasy becomes a reality. That’s what I thought to be honest, which is unfortunately contrary to what manifestation experts are telling us. Moreover, fantasising can make you unhappy and unmotivated because your brain thinks the goal […]

    Magda Z.

    December 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    intuition
  • I didn’t pass my first assignment

    I just checked. The pass mark was 50% and I received 45%. I don’t actually know what was wrong with it, I can’t find any feedback. Possibly the problem was that I criticised a theory I was meant to praise; I don’t know, I didn’t find an explanation for it. And anyway if that was […]

    Magda Z.

    December 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    education
  • Eastern Europeans are unhappy

    That’s what I’ve just read in ‘How confidence works’ by Ian Robertson and it may actually be true. Apparently it’s because we’re not well adjusted to freedom and making choices. It makes some sense to me indeed. Perhaps what I think is related to being autistic is, at least partly, due to being from Eastern […]

    Magda Z.

    December 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    autism characteristics, mental health, Poland
  • I’m not a role model, am I?

    When I started blogging that how I saw it: I wanted to use this platform to somehow give other autistic people guidance on how to live their life and to do that I felt I needed to improve myself first. What happened instead I turned the blog into journal. Is it useful? I don’t know. […]

    Magda Z.

    December 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    education, infinite games, mental health
  • Priceless

    I just found out from my uni student advisor’s team that my disability is not on the system. What kind of system they have then? Even old-fashioned gossip would work better than that.

    Magda Z.

    December 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    education
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