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The Innocent Guys
I did mention in my previous post that since I started blogging about my emotions I started seeing flashback of text in my head occasionally and it’s something that relates to my life. ‘The Innocent Guys’ is what I saw just a few minutes ago. I suppose it could be a good name for vegan…
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Struggling
Trigger warning: this post mentions suicidal thoughts. I read online that talking about suicidal thoughts doesn’t make people any more likely to act on them but I know some readers prefer trigger warnings, and that’s absolutely fine. My severely bad mood started two days ago, after I realised I have almost everything sorted. I think,…
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Mum and her gut feelings
Mum told me today that she has a gut feeling that everything will be well. She wasn’t sure at all what that could mean exactly and when that could happen, just that it will. Sometimes I think her entire understanding of reality is based on gut feelings as she just doesn’t understand facts. I remember…
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I’d like to be pretty one day
I was always under the impression that I have a really large nose. Not massive enough for me to consider plastic surgery, yet, large enough to be concerned. What I often hear in Poland about disabled people who are otherwise attractive is ‘omg, she’s so pretty and she’s in a wheelchair!’ which sounds exactly like…
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Bad mental health
What I wanted to talk about here is, how taboo mental health still is. It seems like we, as a society, got much more open about it, and yet ‘mental health problems’ often mean depression or anxiety, nothing more serious than that. Sometimes bipolar may get a bit of publicity but not schizophrenia or psychosis.…
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My problems are not ‘real’ problems
That’s how I often feel when I speak with people openly about what I’m going through. I now think it could be because I don’t communicate my emotions with my face expression and possibly don’t look authentic when I talk about some of my deepest problems. I must say I don’t really have that issue…
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Property sale in Poland
When I was buying my flat in Swindon I was impressed with how well organised everything was there: each party has their own solicitor and the solicitors handle everything, including the transfer of money. It doesn’t mean nothing can go wrong. I remember I instructed my solicitor online and, as I paid an initial fee,…
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Self harm (I used to do that)
So… this is not something that I normally talk about. It was always taboo, but my left arm is covered in scars. It’s normally easy to cover it as I am oversensitive to cold but on a really hot day wearing long sleeves becomes a problem. Yes, I used to self harm on a couple…
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Visited mum
Mum was very quiet again today and her hands were shaking a bit. I asked her what she wanted me to do when we run out of money for that care home and she said she cannot think straight. She still says she likes there much better and she didn’t moan about my brother at…