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What is emotional regulation? (nonverbal communication)
When I first started reading about autism I came accross the term ’emotional regulation’. All the articles I read stated that autistic people are not good with that. I understood it’s about our ability to deal with stress and not getting upset easily and I agreed I wasn’t good at it. Although that thought brought…
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Expectations vs reality
I was at work yesterday for 24h (which includes sleep in) and although I could technically post on the sleep in shift, I didn’t feel like it. It was a bit of a difficult day, considering what I’m going through but sometimes it really is much easier to focus on work. Yesterday in the morning…
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My challenging communication style and relationships
It took me ages to understand how my challenging communication style affects relationships. It’s not a positive impact, that’s for sure, but I feel like this communication style is who I am. I can’t change it only because I know that a relationship may fail. It is my understanding that if something doesn’t work properly…
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Punished by my brother
So at first my brother ignored the fact that my mum needed a funeral, now, after being supported by the neighbour he made the decision: funeral is going to be on the 1st of February. It’s been already arranged with the priest and I found out from the neighbour. It doesn’t matter if I can…
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Why I don’t admire John Gray (Men are from Venice or whatever)
I bet you know who I mean. This guy, who I believe has PhD in human psychology (can one have PhD in animal psychology actually?), who wrote a couple of books about men being from Mars and women being from Venus. In general the conxept is great and he has some insights, I can’t deny…
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I can’t cope (seriously, how do I not enable my brother?)
So basically my brother doesn’t want to do anything regarding organising my mum’s funeral. I spoke with him again yesterday and he said he can barely walk but ‘will try to do something’. Today the neighbour called me to say that he wanted to speak with my brother but he is never in. Why is…
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I’m a scared little blogger
I don’t tell people that I blog. It’s probably because I don’t want any questions around it or to create more misunderstandings. It seems like the perception of a blogger is that we’re always happy, confident, know what to say and if we experience any negative emotions it’s only for a few minutes, and we…
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I feel so independent now
Don’t get me wrong, my mum was a lovely person, and very helpful. But I often felt like she was holding me hostage. It was very subtle and quite possibly a neurotypical person wouldn’t really notice that or coped with it better. I felt she was constantly worrying about me and wanted me to prove…
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Mental health and self-stigma
Self-stigma – I think I have a lot of it. Even though I blog about my mental health. I think it’s a lot to do with how we use language. It seems like everyone wants to talk about mental health openly now and this conversation starts like this: ‘Talking about mental health is so important,…
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Am I totally normal?
I went on a trip to Oxford. Is that a normal thing to do 4 days after one receives a message about their mum death? Well, I don’t know, but I guess as I’m autistic, I can’t be normal, can I? I first went to that Lebanon restaurant called Comptoir Lebanais, it’s a place full…
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Autistic and me 