This is my 250 blog post, yay! So I wanted to do this mini sum up: I set up WordPress blog on 11th of September this year so just over 6 weeks ago. Some posts have dates from before that time as I transferred them from my older blog on a different platform that turned out to only allow 99 posts per web page.

My blog doesn’t seem to be listed in Google for now but this can apparently take a few months. I don’t do anything to promote it in any way. I write about such personal stuff at times that any attempts at self promotion just don’t feel right.

I was listed once on a different website where I wrote about communication techniques used by my diagnostician but she wasn’t involved in preparing this text or even informed about it so it did feel a bit odd to me at the end, that’s why I didn’t even add a link on my blog, but if you want to read it, it’s here: https://www.learnfromautistics.com/autism-interview-183-magda-regula-on-communication-open-options-when-possible/

I have a couple of viewers every day, a few more on some days and less on others but not many overall. Still, I’d say it’s more than I expected considering I’m not promoting my blog and I’m not listed in Google.

I post on most days, on some days I post more than once. At one time, I think, I wrote 10 blog posts in one day! That was in Poland though, when I was going through all this drama with my mum and brother and at the same time tried writing about things from the past as it was bringing me massive relief.

Overall I find blogging extremely satisfying. It feels like I finally have been given a voice and possibly I am even more confident to speak up when actually talking to people, although it’s too early to confirm that for sure. Also, confidence is probably not the right word, which I already stated here before: I do feel confident when speaking with someone, it’s just that the right words don’t appear in my head for me to say them and this as a result is being labeled as low confidence. Possibly writing about my experiences is an exercise for my brain that allows me to find the right words also later on, when I talk to someone face to face or on the phone.

Another of my achievements is revealing Home Group as a real company. They don’t seem too bothered that I blog about them though, which is possibly a good thing.

Do I want to be discovered? Well, I am actually happy where I am as blogging itself is very rewarding and I love matching my Redecor designs to my posts but I guess at some poinf I may want some recognition if only because it would mean that what I write about has value.

I would say an inspiration to starting this blog was my diagnostician. I met her in 2016, so that’s quite a long time ago. We only met twice in person but I was in touch via email with her for a bit after. She used to speak with me in a different way that people normally do – it felt like she was creating forms for me to fill in but the forms were entirely made of words. I found this communication method very easy to relate to and it made me realise how different my thinking process is. I can now observe how my thinking works in variety of situations (like even when bus drivers cannot decide which route they should take) and I think this is what people can find interesting. I guess most autistic people don’t have the experience that I have. So what I am trying to say is, if I didn’t get more readers with time I could end up thinking that what I’m talking about here regarding autistic people way of thinking is not really that valuable, but for now I’m fine where I am.

I am worried from time to time that there will be nothing new happening in my life that I could use to describe how I think, but then if that’s actually possible? Things happen all the time and I’m autistic 24/7, I should get plenty of ideas for more posts.

The other thing I’m also worried about is that someone from my work (when I start working) will find my blog and finds out about things that I don’t normally talk about. It is my choice to not hide my identity on the blog, if I blog anonymously it would feel like blogging is just another experience where I’m not allowed to be myself. But I am aware that some people can get funny with me when they find out about my psychotic episodes. Oh well… I’ll deal with it when it happens. I don’t know how yet and hopefully it will not be yet another situation when I thought that I’d cope but I didn’t. But as I said for now I’m a very happy blogger overall.