It’s raining heavily today again so no point going to town. The clothes I was wearing yesterday are still wet. Tumble dryers are completely unknown here, unless something changed just recently.

I stopped playing Redecor when I’m here. At first I had some issues with internet connection – I use data roaming on my mobile – and it didn’t load. It works now but it suddenly feels like Redecor is part of my UK routine.

I spend loads of time pacing around the house. My brother seems to never be in, he usually leaves the house around 6am and comes back at 8pm. It’s hard to say what he does when he’s not in because he doesn’t have permanent job.

I keep thinking to myself, this is my family now, and I wonder how this is possible that things fell apart soon after my dad died. He was such a difficult man, giving us problems and starting arguments very often but when he was here my brother behaved himself more, mum was in the house and keeping it fairly tidy and cooking dinners and I could come over any time knowing that I belonged here, even if I had to sleep on a day bed in the kitchen.

My brother was often complaining that he’s drinking because of my dad as they really didn’t get on well at all, but after dad died, my brother started drinking even more and demanding money all the time (when he’s in). He wasn’t like that before.

I don’t understand that at all.