As you may know a few years ago I had employment tribunal claim against a large housing association, Home Group. Their response to my claim stated that my diagnosis was private and they paid for it, but it was on NHS and they never got involved.

The claim was about harassment as I was bullied by a colleague who I know call Devi. As a result of the claim I developed psychosis and finally had to drop it to focus on my mental health.

How did I feel at the time? Frightened a lot. I thought Home Group people are everywhere, I imagined they made friends with my doctors and were telling everybody not to listen to what I had to say. I thought they made friends with the judge in tribunal and my job coach in Job Centre. I tried to escape to Poland, to my family home. I started hallucinating on the way and I thought they followed me

I had a vision they came into my house to drag me out of it, put into their car, drive to the forest somewhere far away so that no one could ever find my body, then they tell me to dig my own grave so that I’d never speak up again.

A couple of times I tried hiding in the bathroom, behind the bath, on the floor. That’s how frightened I was.

I remember running through a church full of people because something that the priest said frightened me.

I was then frantically trying to find a place to hide and found one near the church organ. The organ player was a bit concerned by my strange behaviour and tried to find out the reason for it but I refused to speak up. Finally I gave him the piece of paper that I had in my trousers pocket: ‘Home Group wants to kill me because I wanted to campaign’ – that’s what it said.

He asked if he should call the police but I refused. I was sure police was also involved and convinced by Home Group to never listen to what I have to say.

So those were my delusions and hallucinations, however, they were based on the truth: Home Group would not want me to speak up, would they? Also they didn’t need to make friends with doctors or police: they just created a situation that was so unbelievable on social level that no one would ever believe it.

Put such a lie in an official document for employment tribunal? Who would do that??? They’d loose!

That’s why doctors in Poland diagnosed me with schizophrenia: they just didn’t believe what happened to me.

And Home Group didn’t loose because I couldn’t take it no more. How smart was that?!

So what is going to happen now???

It is said that autistics are not good at predicting other people behaviour. But then, are neurotypicals that much better than us? If psychiatrists in Poland didn’t believe what happened to me, they’d also would not be able to predict it may happen.

So, what is going to happen now? I informed The CEO, Mr Henderson twice already that I write about the situation on my website and that I revealed The Company name. There was no reaction.

I sarcastically asked him if they’re going to threaten to sue me for slander but there’s no slander here, I’m only stating the facts.

I think they didn’t look far enough in the future hoping I’m not going to recover. Yes, they are paid by government to support people with mental health problems, but they’re not paid to support me so my mental health doesn’t matter.

But I didn’t set up this blog to talk about what Home Group did to me, did I? I set it up to talk about my autistic view of the world around. Yet Home Group is still part of my story though, and an important one. And please don’t tell me I could have just continued calling them The Company because if I’d do that no one would believe it. People would think I’d made it all up.

So what is going to happen now, if they can’t sue me for slander? What are they going to do??? Hack WordPress services so that no one would ever find this blog? That’s the only thing that comes to my mind.