So I see a job advert, let’s call it job A, I quite like it and apply for it. Then I see job B adverised, it still sounds ok but I would prefer job A. I feel like I should not apply for it till after I find out I wasn’t successful for job A. It seems to me like by applying for another job I create problem because what if job B is offered to me and I accept it, then I will also turn out to be successful with job A after a couple of days? I have to reject a job that I already accepted or reject the job that I wanted more.

I can’t reject a job that I already accepted because that will create a mess for the employer! Seriously, who said that autistics don’t see things from other people perspective? This is literally all I am focused on, constantly worrying about the companies that I applied to work for.

Normally, when I look for work I don’t apply for more than 3 jobs. I first assess where I’m most likely to get hired and then only apply to those places. Obviously that makes it very difficult to move on, if that’s what I want. Sometimes I only apply for one job. I really can’t help but see applying for multiple positions as creating a mess not only for prospective employers but for the system I am part of (we, autistics, love being part of a system).

I’m not quite sure what the system is in this instance, I bet my instinct imagines that all the jobs I applied for are controlled by an external server that is going to crush if it has too much data to process.

Also I already applied for 4 jobs today, which is more that I would normally apply for during a work search, and I’m going to apply for 2 more during the afternoon.

Not sure what I’m going to do later on as I’m supposed to spend 35h a week on work related activities and it really seems like there’s not enough jobs to keep applying, unless of course recruiters start contacting me and asking to fill in detailed application forms – that can take a while, and then prepsring for interviews and commuting also takes time.

Otherwise I’m absolutely petrified that I’ll find no job whatsoever to the end of my life. I’m not sure what to do about that.