I think my emotions finally woke up and I find it difficult to manage them. I mean, I’d probably look perfectly normal to you, as an autistic person at least – I spent almost entire day playing my block sudoku game. I’m quite scared of putting it away, I think it may be because, when I play and get annoyed with the game, at least I know why I’m annoyed. If I put the game away and still felt annoyed, it would be difficult for me to cope with.

I feel overwhelmed and irritated, but at least I feel something. I feel like my brain is still shattered but my emotions woke up.

It may be difficult to fall asleep in this stage, but let’s hope I’d manage.

I keep having flashbacks of my mum helping me and trying to make me happy in various circumstances. I keep thinking that now, when she’s not around, I can’t put myself into troubles any more. How will I cope with that?