That’s the problem with communication – you can never be sure what the other person means. And I must say I certainly get less confident about it since I realised I’m autistic, even though I can’t really remember many situations from the past when I misunderstood somebody, but still, it feels to me now that conversation with somebody I don’t know well is like a minefield.
Last week, when I was high on the need to make an impact with my blog, I emailed local radio station and I wrote this:
I’m an autistic blogger living in Swindon. I wonder if autism in adults is something you’d like to talk about?
I’m not sure I’d like to take part as I am not very good at communicating when put on the spot, but I thought I’d reach out.
The message that I most want to pass on is that we are constantly being told that we need to talk directly to autistic people and I proved this is not true.
Please let me know if you would like more details.’
I thought that they would respond with: ok, give us some more info, but instead I got an email from a lady stating that she will be happy to chat with me and asking if I want to visit the studio.
That’s a bit confusing, isn’t it? I mean it looks to me like she just wants to get to know me on this stage, but as it’s not stated directly, I’m now freaking out they’ll put me in front of the microphone hoping the truth will get out this way. Is this not how neurotypicals are treated by the media? I mean, not always of course, there are those neurotypicals and the media that are nice to each other, to the point when you’re start wondering why they’re actually talking because there’s no conclusion on the horizon whatsoever.
I remember, quite a few years ago, I think it was when I still lived in Poland, I bought high end magazine for women and saw an interview with a popular actress. She was in her 40s and just recently started a relationship with a man who was 20 years her junior. He was her partner on Dancing with the Stars so everyone wanted to know something about that relationship. The interview didn’t address it at all though, there was not even ‘yes, we are together but I won’t be discussing that as it’s private’, there was nothing at all about the actress private life there and all the interview was about her eating habits! I do not exaggerate – all of it! And I thought: what is this for? Do I really need to know how many eggs a week she eats?
But what I mean about the truth coming out is, that is what media presenters often do to politicians: they confuse them in hope to find out the well hidden truth. That wouldn’t work on me though – to find out what I am really thinking I need like 30 minutes to myself and a pen and paper. If you confuse me and then demand a response you’ll get a total nonsense that will be made up of phrases that I previously heard other people using in situations that (I think) were similar.
So yes, coming back to the subject of this post: it would be silly to ask for clarification on the reason behind being invited to the radio, wouldn’t it? Especially after I started the conversation with a statement that I don’t agree with the current advice that we, autistics, need everything being stated explicitly. Lol!
So I decided to just go with the flow and say that yes, seeing them would be exciting. I can always run off, I suppose? Ha ha. Lol.