I just found out about this phenomenon called the liking gap. From the article I take that relates to neurotypicals. So apparently it is when someone meets a new person and then assumes that that person didn’t like them, while they in fact did.
It’s really confusing to read it, because I was under the impression that neurotypicals know those things from their nonverbal communication. That’s what we, autistics, are constantly being told, aren’t we?
The other thing is that my ‘liking gap’ is the total opposite: I meet a new person, I think we get on, I told them all about my collection of trains (I don’t have collection of trains) and they listened without interrupting me for 45 minutes so they have to like me, don’t they? And then it turns out they’re avoiding me.
Or, possibly less dramatic: I am still getting invitations for events like birthdays and such but when they have a choice who to chat with over a cup of coffee, I’m never their first choice. Even if I didn’t mention my collection of trains. They may still meet me up for one to one chat if everyone else is busy and they have nothing to do though.
Unless, I forgot, they’re trying to fix me. I used to have a colleague who was doing that. I felt it was a really hard work but, because I didn’t know I’m autistic, I decided I can’t miss on that opportunity. Who knows, I thought? Possibly, with some effort on both sides, it will work out.
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