This is an interesting, very positive video made by Alexandra Pearson. She studied autism for a couple of years but didn’t realise she’s autistic because the description of autism was from neurotypical point of view and real feelings of autistic people were not described.

I think the video is very interesting to watch, however, if I didn’t know I’m autistic I would never had guessed that from it. Alexandra said in the video that she never blamed other people for her negative experiences, she only blamed herself, and I think, this is so not like me. I blamed other people and I blamed myself. I blamed other people because they did not kind things to me but I also blamed myself for attracting those experiences.

I wonder if my view will ever be as positive as Alexandra’s? I guess her situation is different, she’s lucky enough to work from home and her boss is autistic. I don’t have this comfort and I doubt I will ever have it. But still, will working from home reduce my struggles? Up to a point, probably, but there’s so much that can still go wrong and, to be honest, I don’t like spending loads of time at home. I still want to go out and be part of the community, the problem is that it doesn’t work very well for me.

I’m really worried I may actually end up burned out, like my dad.