I mean, I guess it does. Some women are very powerful. But I was thinking here about the coaching program created by Claire Zammit. I posted about it a few days ago – it’s apparently all to do with intuition.

But I’m wondering, what about communication?

If we’re making the same mistakes all the time, because we didn’t work out how to do things differently, or, possibly, we don’t even know we’re making a mistake, then how is emotional shift going to bring us different results? People will still not listen and therefore we won’t feel seen and recognised.

I must say here, shortly after I found out I’m autistic I came up with the idea that Claire Zammit also is. She said she was never interested in feminine stuff and needed to learn it and it was exactly how I used to feel. Also, did you notice, Claire is not very expressive on the stage?

Is it possible, I was thinking, that she did all this work hoping to get rid of her autistic traits, while being unaware she is autistic? I mean, I don’t know, I just say what I see. But I admit here, when I first realised I’m autistic, it suddenly started looking to me like a lot of other people are. Some of them probably were, but not all.

I have a friend who is a midwife and she loves the process of delivering babies but says she can’t cope with politics at work and other midwifes don’t like her. She wasn’t actually one of the ‘undiagnosed autistics’ on my list (even though she has limited eye contact) but when I told her I’ve been diagnosed with Asperger’s she started reading about it and decided it sounded a lot like her. Yet, she’s not looking for diagnosis and very quickly lost all her interest in the subject. If she was autistic would it not be an eye opener for her? Would she not want to know more, to understand herself?

Obviously, if Claire Zammit was autistic and only found out about that after her coaching programme become successful, she would probably not want to pursue the truth at all.

Anyway, tapping to my intuition could be quite useful, I think. Maybe it would help me avoid some problems in the future (it’s probably too late already to avoid problems in the past), maybe it will be easier to choose action that is better for me out of all the things that I can do in life? Avoid bad people? I’m not sure but I guess it wouldn’t hurt. But then, is it ever going to be possible for me to achieve that if so many things I do every day require me to reject my instinct and second guess myself instead?