Some dating coaches advise not to have sex before you really get to know someone. That advice marginalises women sex drive (we have it, don’t we?) and anyway, when you really fancy somebody it’s very difficult to put this aside and focus on ‘getting to know them’ instead. They often mention the oxytocin theory and I wonder if anyone tried to prove it? I guess for that we’d need to get women to have a blood test done shortly before and shortly after the intercourse with a man that they find attractive. I assume that could be difficult to achieve.

The problem that I have now with John has nothing to do with when me and John had sex (I think it was 4th date, if someone was curious). If anything, we would have more problems earlier on if we waited longer. My theory is, if you give in to desire and enjoy the moment you create beautiful memories that you can go back to in time of crisis. And if it turns out that guy is actually not for you, you naturally move on despite having sex with him. Or at least that is my experience. But if I didn’t try that myself, I’d believe in the oxytocin theory. While, in fact, the two situations where I couldn’t move on after relationship didn’t work out were those when we didn’t have sex, but I won’t be giving the details on the blog; it seems like it was ages ago and it doesn’t have any impact on me now.