Accidental proposal (Marni Batista)

Today I thought John is trying to propose to me, but instead he reminded me we’re not in a relationship. Oh well… so I told him not to argue, for the same reason. Not that we argued when we were in a relationship. The rule of thum is, however, if a guy doesn’t consider you to be a wife material, he won’t be talking about marriage, unless it’s just to mention he doesn’t want one.

I had a brief look today on a book by another dating coach, Marni Batista, creator of ‘Dating with dignity’. I remember I watched a couple of her videos a few years ago and although I didn’t really agree with the content, I must admit, she’s really good communicator. However, being good communicator is not really that good if one uses it to put other women down, when in fact they should be explained some simple truth about men.

The book contains some questions and answers, they are towards the end. In one of them the reader says she was in an online chat room when a man who she didn’t even talked to approached her to give her his number and told her to text him. The woman then said: well, we’re in a chat room. Isn’t it like texting? And he said: well, it’s up to you. And that was it, he never talked to her again. So the woman now asked what she had done wrong.

And Marni says that in one of her class she discusses non combative communication and gives examples of what the woman could have said instead. And I’m thinking: was the above communication combative? In what sense? The woman just simply stated facts.

What Marni says reminds me of one of my ex friend who used to say ‘that would never happen to me because I know how to talk to people…’ whenever I tried to complain about how someone treated me. Exactly like if everything that other people were doing was good and I was the only bad one.

So let me give you my perspective on the above online chat problem: I bet sexual harassment was banned on the chat. That’s why the guy was trying to find somebody to text outside of the chat room. It wouldn’t matter what the woman said, it would get her absolutely nowhere with this man because he only had a hook up in mind. Why no one says that straight? If you are talking to a man who is just trying to get laid then it really doesn’t matter what you say, as nothing is going to change his intensions. The only thing you have a control over is whether you are that ‘right now’ girl he’s looking for. If you don’t want to be her, move on.

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