Ok, so I came up with this scenario, a very easy one. You can use it on a guy who invited you for dinner to an expensive restaurant at the very early stages in your dating process and he wants to pay. Remember, guys sometimes ask you out to an expensive place to deceive you to think they take you seriously, when they don’t but they may do exactly the same thing only to test you, because they actually like you a lot and want to find out what kind of girl you are. If you become easy to impress and take his effort to mean that he’s taking you seriously you will fail this test.

I have an easy scenario here for you to asses what kind of guy you are dealing with. But this only applies when he says he will pay. If you share the bill that will not apply. Also, remember if a guy wants you to share a bill only agree to do that for places that you can actually afford and want to go. If he wants you to accompany him somewhere or invites you to a place that you find too expensive for your budget, he needs to pay. But then, use common sense: if the opposite will happen and you want him to accompany you somewhere that he won’t particularly enjoy, you need to pay for both of you.

So if he wants to pay let him and after he does that say ‘It’s a really nice restaurant’ and smile. He is now thinking that you’re easily impressed. Observe his body language all the time. The fact that we don’t understand face expressions doesn’t mean we can’t see a sudden change. A sudden change in a face expression, body language or a tone of voice is always a sign of something going on. It may be a good sign, depending on the situation you are in. Anyway, keep watching.

After you said that, give him a moment to comment. And then say: ‘I didn’t feel like cooking today and the food was good so thank you.’ So after your first comment he thought you are easily impressed and now you pretty much said that although you appreciate it, it was just a meal for you, it did not impress you at all. Again, leave him time to comment while watching his body language all the time.

And then, after he responded say: ‘Ok. And now tell me what your true intentions are?’ Obviously he’s not going to tell you, but that’s not a point!

What you are communicating is that you are aware of social understanding of those kind of behaviour: that guy asking you out to an expensive restaurant is supposed to mean that he treats you seriously but you know that some guys misuse this to deceive women, and you still had enough courage to come. You’re not intimidated by him.

He may be a bit surprised by that, if he’s not used to women testing him, but if he doesn’t have any dodgy intensions, he will be ok with that and will continue to have normal conversation with you. Again, don’t worry too much about what he actually said as long as he behaves normally. However, if he starts to beg you, question you, be sorry, challenge you, make you feel guilty for asking this question, starts explaining that he is a nice guy and asks why you don’t believe he’s genuine or just says ‘What do you mean, I am taking you seriously, I wouldn’t pay otherwise, would I?’ move on.

What may also happen will be that a guy will behave moreless normally after that but then will never contact you again. Don’t dwell on it. Congratulate yourself instead: you just weeded out a man who had no intensions to treat you seriously and who gets easily intimidated by high quality woman who knows how to safeguard herself.