Work training (and dodgy host)

Finally I’m going for my work training next week. The training is in Portland which is a small town in Dorset and the closest train station is Weymouth. It takes place on Tuesday and Wednesday so I have to go there on Monday as I wouldn’t be able to get there on Tuesday morning, it is around 4 hour journey. I am quite excited I must say, finally being able to start a job and I’m really glad I chose live in care over working in a care home.

As I suddenly got discount code for my email yesterday, I had this idea: why not stay in Weymouth on the way back for a night or two. Probably two as I noticed, if I only stay somewhere for one night, I end up doing loads of running around and not much relaxing. The Boyfriend really likes Weymouth so I asked him if he can join me, even though it’s a bit tricky as he’s having some major home improvements being carried out right now. He said it would be nice to go but he can only confirm closer to the time so I thought, as the discount code runs out today, I’ll book double room as it will be similar price to a single room without a discount code.

I don’t like staying in hotels, I prefer guesthouses, B&B, hostels and apartments. Hotels feel so impersonal to me. I didn’t really have many choices for a smaller budget but I found a guesthouse that was offering double room for 106 pounds for two nights. The same room for a single person was 80 pounds and what I think I should have done would be to book for a single person and then say that my partner may join me but he’s not sure yet and I’ll confirm later.

But it felt to me that if I do that, The Boyfriend won’t be able to come. You could say it’s magic thinking but for me it makes more sense to say that I imagine that I live in a system where everything is connected, so if I don’t make space for The Boyfriend, he won’t be able to come.

Just a few minutes after I confirmed my booking I received a long email from the host explaining all his rules and stating that if I have any request, I need to contact him directly as he sometimes don’t get the emails sent through From the general tone of the email I had the impression that he’s a bit fed up with but obviously doesn’t have any other choice than to be on the website. I found this communication a bit unusual but also quite refreshing and what I did was, I contacted him on the email provided to ask if I can change the booking to one person only and then change it back to two when my partner knows if he’s coming or not.

I even stated in my email that I found his direct communication really refreshing. Oh well…

I didn’t get response to that and after a while I started wondering if I didn’t make a mistake by contacting him directly. If something goes wrong it will be like I don’t have any evidence.

The booking was non refundable but I had three hours to cancel it, so I did after two and half hours. And then, guess what, the host answered my email almost immediately! That was a bit strange already but then the words he used were really scary: ‘It’s really quiet next week. Why don’t you call when you know what you need?’ And I thought, yes, right, I’ll go there and he will be sexually harrasing me. Or the room won’t be ready. Or he will not be in at all. I don’t know, it all become obvious suddenly to me he’s doing something dodgy and I didn’t want to have anything to do with him any more. So I ended up booking a single room somewhere else. The Boyfriend won’t be able to come, I don’t think. I’m much more spontaneous than he is and I wouldn’t want to go away during the time when I had work being done around the house – at this time you just want to be in to make sure that everything is being taken care of and to resolve any emergencies.

I do wonder though if neurotypical person would react differently to that first email that the host sent me? I suppose taking it on face value was a bit naive, but then I am naive, I suppose. Autistic people are naive. But somehow I don’t end up being taken advantage of (except of the fact when the mortgage advisor applied for a mortgage for me behind my back) and a lot of autistic females complain about exactly that. I guess what I do is, I behave naively but as soon as I see the slightest sign of someone treating me like if they want to take advantage of me, instead of being understanding and supportive, I back off. I guess my naivity is part of my coping strategies. I don’t know why not everyone can cope the same way though.

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