Ok, so I didn’t prioritise sleep yesterday as I chose to do patterns instead, until around 10pm when I saw those two images with words ‘game over’ in my PicsArt feeds. It was really strange, wouldn’t you agree? But I stated here before that I respond to notifications. Of course not all of them – that would only make me crazy! There’s plenty of those that I ignore. I should have probably said that I respond to notifications that make sense to me. It made sense to stop playing as it was time to go to sleep, so I stopped.

Still, I had 6 hours of sleep which a year ago would be considered good. If I say now it was poor, it’s a reflection of the improvement I’ve made.

I tried a few different photo editing apps yesterday and it all seems so complicated to me. I guess I may use them from time to time but will probably stick to PicsArt for most of my work as it’s what I’m used to, but also it offers some functionality that I didn’t find anywhere else.

I was wondering recently whether what I do with patterns can be called art. I don’t know how else to call it but art is a big word in Poland. To be an artist one needs to be really devoted and probably also starving. There is this expression though,’amateur artist’ that can be used for someone who does art in their spare time or someone without formal training. However, even full time artists, when interviewed, say they don’t consider themselves to be an artists and this is used as expression of modesty.

I read an interview with Martin Sati recently, an amazing artist who creates beautiful digital paintings made of lines. I especially love his colorful birds. He’s Spanish and says the same thing: he’s not an artist. He’s an illustrator. And I think, how confusing that is. What does he illustrate, if he’s an illustrator? If he illustrates books for a client, then yes, he’s an illustrator. If he creates to fulfill his own vision, he’s an artist. I really wish people stop having such difficulties with this word as it only makes it more difficult for me to make sense of things.

So am I an artist or a pattern maker? But then, who is a pattern maker, people may ask? They may think it’s someone who makes something that can be cut out, like a sewing pattern for example. If I tell them I’m a digital artist they’ll moreless know what I do and can just ask for details.

I have almost no food in the house. I need to do some proper shopping before I go away to my live in care job. I also have another interview today, for a bank position in a care home. I still don’t know what to say in my ‘about’ statement. One reason that I have so much problem with it is that I don’t like drawing too much attention to myself. It doesn’t seem very professional to me.