So, first of all, I must say I was made to believe that art can only be done ‘on the right side of the brain’, that means by being intuitive, not by applying logic. And that was my explanation for not being able to succeed in me earlier efforts: I kept painting and doing mixed media art on and off for a couple of years and I have pretty much nothing to show for it as at the end I’d almost always decide that what I did was not good enough. The thing is, on days when I was able to switch off my logic, I in fact had better results so the explanation made sense.
What I think now is, the type of art that I wanted to do: with complex relationships between shapes, just wasn’t possible to be done in traditional media, or at least not for someone with executive functioning issues and limited time, like me. That’s why digital art is what I should stick to. I’m wondering now, however, if it’s true that art can’t be done by logic. When I do mine, I feel like I’m using the same skills that I applied when doing maths, only that it’s even more difficult. However, I saw an ad yesterday about thing called ‘creative coding’ which is basically creating digital images by computer programming. I used to do computer programming and I can confirm that it requires logic. Therefore the whole idea of art being done on the right side of the brain is probably overly simplified.
I feel like my efforts in creating digital art are very emotionally rewarding, but it also requires loads of effort. I must say I feel slightly triggered, even though I take regular breaks. I guess it will take a bit more time for me to feel I do it effortlessly although I wouldn’t be very surprised if I never fully reach that stage.
Yesterday I was planning to go to the cinema but as it was Bank Holiday it would be probably more busy and also Sunday bus service is not very good so I just did some basic shopping and came back home. I may go today though.
Last week I bought a pair of trousers in M&S as I needed some and they were on sale. They are regular length and, as ypu may remember I’m 180cm (5’11) tall. And if I need to buy regular length trousers because long length is too long then seriously something is wrong with this world. Obviously I’d really wish ladies even taller than me could buy their clothes effortlessly but then if we only have three lengths: short, regular and long and I have to buy regular that means medium height ladies have to go for short and that leaves short ladies with nothing to wear. I mean, ok, in reality they will probably go to a different shop to buy their clothes. Anyway, the above explanation is yet another proof that I think about other people and wonder how they can meet their needs. It really is not true that we, autistics, only think about ourselves!