So, as I probably mentioned here before, I’m oversensitive to cold. I was told during my diagnostic assessment this is due to autism, which could be true, as my dad was exactly the same, but it only started when I was around 23. Possibly the stress of adulting did it to me? I don’t know. I mean, I never was a ‘hot’ person, but I was not as cold as I am now. I have a small, oil heater in my bedroom, very close to the bed, that is OK to be covered, so when central heating doesn’t feel sufficient enough, I put this heater on, lay down in bed and cover it with a duvet, so that the heat gets directly on me. What happens sometimes as a result is, my skin gets hot to touch but I feel freezing inside.

Luckily enough the flat I own is fairly warm and it has large windows. Even in winter, as long as it’s sunny outside, I don’t need heating on between 10am and 3pm, however, today the weather is really miserable, it’s raining and it’s really windy and I’m not allowed to use central heating as the supply hasn’t been checked yet, after the fire yesterday. So I pretty much stay in bed with the oil heater ‘by my side’ as you could say. I didn’t do any tidying or washing up for 2 days and my kitchen looks really messy now. But at least the fridge is back in it’s place as the electrician came in late morning and said there are no cables coming from the downstairs flat, which means the smoke must have been coming through floorboards.

I just realised one thing, totally autism related: I do say I’m a lot like my late dad, who must have been undiagnosed autistic. However, my dad used to be obsessed with dates and anniversaries. He would come up to me and said, for example: tomorrow will be 23 years when I bought a tractor. He also remembered loads of dates from modern history, in general modern history was his special interest. I know nothing about history, I’m so bad that when I lived in Poland I was, at times ashamed. In the UK, however, people don’t seem to be that focused on history, and also, if I don’t understand the origin of a certain tradition (like bonfire night for example) I just ask. I’m a foreigner so it’s ok if I don’t know. I forget shortly afterwards.

I must say here, in my defence, that before communism ended in Poland, we were taught different version of history, and then no one actually explained to us why was that, I guess everyone was hoping we’d work it out with time. Possibly teachers didn’t want to say that what we were told when we were younger was not true because they were worried that we’ll start questioning knowledge from other subjects as well?

And then, after communism ended, history lessons were all about making notes from our handbook. There was no lectures, no discussions, no films, basically nothing interesting, but also it was impossible to get a negative grade, so that’s how I got by. Now, when I happen to read an article or watch a video about history, I doubt totally everything in it. I mean I know that WWII started on 1st of September 1939 and finished sometimes in 1945. I know Poland’s boundaries changed multiple times throughout the history. I know, we used to be a huge country at some point, but I don’t know exactly when it was. Trying to work out what really happened and what didn’t is not possible for me. So I’m wondering how my dad managed that, especially that he only finished primary school – he was born in 1936 so further education was not easily accessible at the time.

Yes, so what I was saying earlier, I also realised I’m not obsessed with dates like my dad. When the electrician came, he asked me how long I lived here and I only realised later on that tomorrow will be the an anniversary of me moving into this flat. Funny thing, isn’t it? My dad remembered when he got himself a tractor, I forget when I bought my first property.

As the electrician left, he called me a poppet. Strange, isn’t it? I’m a middle aged autistic female, not a poppet.

Maybe I could become one, what do you think? Maybe life would be easier?

At least being miserable and cold is good for my writing. If it continues this way I may even hit 300 posts by the evening! Oh, I didn’t write the news about Professor Baron-Cohen and what he said yet. I will do later, I promise, although possibly not today. I like when my mind has a chance to wonder for a bit.