A few weeks ago I posted to Tomaszów Facebook group asking if there is anyone there who’s money also got stolen by Mrs J but I didn’t get a sensible response. A man reached out claiming he can help me get the money back and he said that ‘his neighbour is a lawyer’. I decided to opt out for now.

I don’t suppose the way I think about the fraud is very helpful and logical, even though I’m a logical person most of the time. Well, I suppose I’m logical when I’m not on my autistic instinct, when I possibly see somebody else struggle, but not when I struggle myself.

I suppose, as an autistic, I see my parents land as a symbol of prosperity, as mum was always saying that one day it will be mine. As an autistic I’m focused on symbols because this is what I can easily understand. That’s why the fraud feels like if my prosperity has been taken away from me. I know it’s not true and as long as I get a job I’ll be ok, but I find it difficult to just move on.

Let me clarify that here: it’s not excessive amout of money, with the salary I could get for one of lower paying jobs that I used to do in the UK it wouldn’t even be enough to put a deposit for a house.

So it’s not a life changing sum but I can’t change my thinking. Unless… unless I imagine that the part that has been stolen has gone to my brother and I just never do anything about it. No more contact with the bank, no more contact with the police, just total silence.

I also know that, no matter how much money we will get back, it will always feel wrong, like it won’t be the same money that has been stolen.

I’m not very logical, am I?

I’d really like to speak with other victims and hear how they feel and think. The staff in a bank have themselves to plan all the strategies while I’m totally alienated and alone. It feels bad.