I keep walking outside of the hostel, enjoying hot weather and nice area around me but I keep thinking I should be with mum. That’s of course impossible due to Covid. The annoying thing is that number of infections is really low in the entire country. I guess it’s just a precaution but why now, when I’m here.
I also noticed that disinfectant applicators are almost always empty here and people don’t wear masks that often.
I stopped worrying about money for mum’s care for now and I hope it will stay like this but I was really concerned in the morning that she may live for too long. I guess, when she’s low on money I’d need to transfer her to government care home again, I would have no choice, unless I get a full time job again, but still, it could be a bit difficult.
After not seeing my brother for just over a week I stopped being angry with him, but I don’t have any other feelings. It feels like if he doesn’t exist.
I am sometimes considering taking mum back to mine, if she’s able to walk again. Hopefully by the time she’d realise my brother is not going to change if he didn’t so far. It would be a way of saving money on care, I admit that, but also I’d like to have her somewhere around me, I really do, but she needs to be happy for me to cope with her. In the ideal world I would really like to take care of her. What a pity that, even with the money she has, it’s not at all possible.