The hostel is really on the outskirts but it is a beautiful place. I don’t regret at all that I am staying here. Walking to the kitchen to get milk for my morning coffee is an amazing start of the day.

I thought I’d feel strange in an empty building but I got used to very quickly. Plus I have people outside, in the adventure park. Someone is playing music there, Shape of my heart by Sting. A bit nostalgic. And I think I’ll probably never travel again with my mum. Quite possibly I’ll never have dinner out with her again. It feels like I have no family any more.

It’s true: I’m all by myself now. I don’t know how I’m going to cope. Mummy, can you please get a bit younger for me? Maybe if you really try it won’t be impossible. Please. Just this time. I want things to be back to how they used to be. They were far from perfect for our family, always, but much better than now.

Now Robbie Williams is singing. One of his positive songs, but I can’t identify the title. YouTube is not great for that. Anyway, I don’t feel that positive at all now.