I have the impression that, according to society expectations, or at least how it looks in Poland, loving an elderly parent means protecting them from reality but what I was doing instead was trying to get my mum to face it.

So for example, as a loving daughter, I should be regularly sending money to my brother and pay his bills but tell mum that he paid them himself and that I spoke with the neighbours and they said he’s not drinking. And he’s only not answering her phonecalls because he’s busy with work. He works every single day now because he wants to change.

But I couldn’t do that. I can’t lie this way, plus what purpose does it serve? Nothing can ever get solved like that, it only gets manipulated around. But what happened as a result of my actions is that my mum went back to Poland to rescue my brother and now she cannot walk.