I finally start feeling that I’m on the right track, even though I don’t know where I’m going exactly. I don’t know if I need to go to town tomorrow or not. I’ll decide in the morning. I also need to decide what I need in the Power of Attorney, but this can be passed on to the solicitor over email.

I will feel sad leaving the family house, not knowing when I can visit again, if at all. This is where I was brought up. It’s like giving up my roots, but I suppose roots are only a symbol, I need to be able to move on from that thinking somehow.

My dad was also very focused on his roots. Totally obsessed about his family home even though it’s been ages since he moved out. The house was small and old, there was nothing there that was of any use, and yet, he wanted to own the place. He kept sending letters to various establishments, including to president of Poland. I think it’s an autistic thing. We’re very good at understanding symbols and quite poor at understanding emotions. We’re focusing on what we’re good at.

I’m still managing without any mental health medication, I think it’s a success already. I know that taking it may help with stress levels, so I may need it at some point, but it won’t help me move on from being attached to a symbol. I don’t really know what will. Time will heal, as they say.

I’m Polish, and always will be, even though my home is in the UK. It will be difficult not to have access to even this tiny piece of land in here, something that is mine, even if I have no use of it.