I was cleaning the house yesterday thinking ‘this is my family now, it’s not going to get any better than that.’ My brother has some serious issues with self neglect so it wasn’t an easy task.
I found my mum’s glasses, the two pairs that I organised for her when she was staying with me in the UK recently and I wondered again why my life has to be like that: it should be my brother’s responsibility to take them to mum, but he didn’t. He didn’t even visit her once, even though my neighbour wanted to give him a lift.
I visited mum again today and she wasn’t as happy as she was two days ago. She said she didn’t feel very well and she looked very small in her bed.
The care home is rather crowded but the staff is lovely. Mum seems to be happy there in a way.
In Poland there seems to be loads of stigma attached to letting close family member be in a care home but mum never wanted to be a burden for anyone.
I came home, all wet as it was raining all day and my brother started demanding that I get mum out. We can’t afford it, he said. Mum can’t walk and he’s never home, even though he doesn’t work. I don’t know what he expected me to do.
I want to take mum back with me, so that no one could hurt her again but we tried that and she wasn’t really that happy. But maybe I could try again, I think. But she can’t walk, how am I going to manage?
I only spent 30 minutes with her today as needed to go home early to change into dry clothes. I didn’t really organise that much other stuff either.
I so much wish I didn’t have to deal with all this by myself. Mum is really worried about the fraud issue, whether I’ll be able to sort it out.
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