It is said that a lot of autistic females camouflage and mask. That means, pretty much, we pretend to be normal, even though it takes a lot of effort.

But my dad was exactly like that. He used to make jokes (and not very good ones) while with people but sadly he didn’t have any friends. It’s not only females who camouflage.

A few months after my diagnosis I realised that I’d be better off if I made more effort to try to understand the situation around me instead of insisting on taking part.

It is difficult to find a balance when you know that there’s something you’re not getting. I would like to stop thinking what people mean and what I’m supposed to do in response. When was the last time I didn’t feel like I need to do that? Probably when I was 5.