It all started with a joke. A year ago, on a cold and gloomy weekend, when John was visiting me, I saw an episode of ‘Say yes to the dress’, the American show about choosing wedding dresses on Facebook. I don’t watch tv so only knew this program from Facebook reels. I quite liked it though, not only for the dresses but even more so for the drama. You know, bride loves the dress and mother in law says it’s horrid. Or sister suddenly decides she wants the same dress even though she doesn’t even have a boyfriend, that kind of thing.

So I watched the video while John was browsing through dinner recipies. At some point I asked, what meant to be a joke: ‘So when can I buy a wedding dress?’

‘You can’ said John. ‘So you mean I can buy it and then keep it in the wardrobe? If I buy it we will have to get married’ I replied. ‘So we will’ said John. He didn’t sound as if he was joking at all. We never talked about getting married before but suddenly I found that concept thrilling. I can become a wife, what can be more exciting than that?

A few days later I noticed that something changed in me. I got calmer, more at ease with myself. The voice that used to tell me that I need to get heard (whatever that could mean) suddenly quieten. It doesn’t sound very feministic, does it? It sounds as everything I ever wanted from life was to get married and I didn’t even realised it, but that’s what happened.

We quickly decided we’re not doing any reception and only have a basic ceremony with witnesses only and then we’d take them for a meal out. Initially we were thinking of afternoon tea because it sounds posh but the problem is I don’t like sandwiches so finally we decided to go to the same pub were we occasionally eat dinner.

Then it came to dress shopping. For such a small ceremony it would be silly to wear a full wedding dress so I decided to look for something on ASOS. I wanted lace and just a few days later a lace dress appeared so I bought it and it fit. I confirmed with John whether he was serious and reassured him I had 28 days to return the dress. He’s serious, he said. He explained he knew women want to get married and I never was married so he would marry me. So he wanted to sacrifice myself for me, how cute.

And then, that was it. I don’t remember much from the ceremony, I was too nervous. However, I learned two new words: ‘solemnly’ and ‘impedement’. It never occured to me to find wedding vowels online. And anyway, maybe they are different in every council? I don’t know, but here you are, I’m a wife now.

Have my life changed? We still don’t live together so it would seem it didn’t but I feel different. First of all, and maybe that sounds silly, but that’s how I feel, I felt enormous relief that if I pass away my estate would go to John. Then I also felt that I won’t be alone in later life and that made me feel calmer. So it was good to get married, even if it started with a joke. However the preparation was a bit stressful so I decided I’m not doing that again!