I’m reading ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie. I’m sure you heard about this book, it’s a classic in psychology and social skills training.

First published in 1936, so a little while ago; one of the chapters talks about how every human has the need to feel important, the author goes as far to assume some people ‘go insane’ because this need is not met. Thankfully, since that time we made some advancements in psychiatry, but I do wonder, would I be ‘insane’ now, if I wasn’t on olanzapine?

I do feel the need to be important, I’m not going to lie, but I somehow assumed this is connected to me being autistic, either directly (I prefer to be important than to be loved because this is how my brain works) or indirectly (years of being wronged by people made me feel like I need the world to make up for it). It is now a surpirse to read that other people have that need too, especially that no one ever talks about it.

Sometimes succesful people say ‘I had that feeling that I was made for more’ but they only say that after becoming successful. I’ve never head anyone admitting that when they work towards becoming important. So I’ll be first: I have the feeling that I am made for more. This is why I blog and why I published a book. The book is a collection of posts where I look at autism from a bit of a different perspective and I so much want people to see things the same way I see them.

But what if I am wrong? If people download my book, read it, and say it’s a total nonsense? Perhaps they say I’m not even really autistic but have something else ‘wrong’ with me. I will be wronged again by a wider audience. That would be quite a stressful experience, but that’s why I feel it is important to be honest. If we’re not honest then the people who could offer us understanding will end up rejecting us.

So yes, I have the feeling that I am made for more and I’m taking the risk here to show you my true self. The next time my book will be available to download for free from Kindle Store will be 24th of December; this is when we, Polish, give Christmas presents, so my book is my Christmas present for you. Please read it and tell me what you think.