I read a post on a forum yesterday where a neurotypical man was worried that his autistic girlfriend may be cheating on him. He didn’t say what the signs of her cheating are, other than doing full make up to go to a supermarket (how is this a sign of cheating? I will never understand men) but he mentioned he doesn’t trust her because of ‘some things she did.’
Let me tell you here: as much as I don’t want to say that autistic never cheat because a few probably did once or twice, but look at things from our perspective: cheating behaviour requires more social skills that actually finding a partner!
When I was in my early 20s (and didn’t know I was autistic) I watched a talk show run by fantastic Ewa Drzyzga, it was about a middle age married man who used to have an affair with a nun. How? He joined a church choir that the nun run. And, to make it clear, he joined the choir to sing, not to have sex with nuns, it just somehow happened.
I kept asking myself how? And you know, I still don’t understand. What I do know is that people, when they want to have sex, don’t just jump on each other, they flirt first. But how those two knew the other person is doing exactly that: they flirt and not with an intention to be just a bit playful in the moment or possibly to see what reaction they get from the other person but to actually move things forward?
He was married, she was a nun. Those two weren’t supposed to have sex. And yet they both managed to use their social skills to create a situation where that was possible. I still don’t understand how.
So yes, I doubt an autistic person would be able to easily engage in cheating behaviour, this is simply just too difficult for us.
John was meant to come and see me today and we were meant to eat baked camembert but it’s snowing. I’m a little bit sad but what to do, safety is the most important thing.
My free book promotion finished already but there will be another one on the 24th, Pacific time.
UPDATE: I posted this to a forum for autistic females and found out cheating was easier for many of them; some of them especially mentioned a hookup sites. Yes, I forgot about those and focused on a very unusual example instead.