1. It does seem to me that some people imagine psychiatric hospitals as scary places where patients run around naked, hit their heads against walls and need constant restraining. I’ve been in three psychiatric hospitals as a patient, in two different countries and one as a visitor and believe me, most of the time patients are really well behaved, and even if someone is displaying difficult behaviour, it’s more of a nuisance rather than a challenge. So if you think you may need to go to psychiatric hospital in the future, worry no more, it’s really not too bad at all.

2. Food is excellent here, with loads of choices. Unfortunately, due to covid, we have to order from the menu beforehand so that there was no queue forming and it’s sometimes difficult to gather whether ‘pie’ is going to have potato or pastry topping, so I sometimes end up with something I’d not order if I see it first. Oh well…

I tried ‘forgetting’ to order once and still got fed, but I felt uncomfortable, like if I was manipulating the system that is here to protect all of us so I’d rather not do that again.

3. I tried some colouring yesterday.

I am not sure I’ll be able to finish but I really like all the patterns on this squirrel.

4. I had minor anxiety attack yesterday around 9pm. I didn’t tell the staff because, well… I don’t know? I suppose my anxiety manifests in unusual ways. All my clothes seemed too tight, even though they were quite loose, and I felt every single muscle of my upper body, like if they were in the wrong place. But I didn’t feel anxious, otherwise.

That reaction did get me a bit worried because aripiprazole, my new medication, can cause anxiety and I’m only on 5mg, so if that didn’t work for me, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t imagine going on olanzapine long term again.

However, when I changed into my pj and went to bed, I quickly fell asleep. Today I’m perfectly fine, so fingers crossed it was one off only and not caused by the meds.

5. I wondered yesterday whether what I write on my blog didn’t sound at times like if I’m encouraging people with history of psychosis to go off medication. I really hope it didn’t! Being off meds worked for me for a while, until it didn’t. I am aware I didn’t post yet about how this third episode started. I’ll get back to it at some point.

6. Yesterday after lunch a male patient fell asleep in an armchair in communal area. I was walking around and realised that before he fell asleep, he made a phone call to some kind of customer service and put it on loud speaker. It was quite hilarious. I was really looking forward to hear the call handler reaction when they hear his snoring. Unfortunately, the guy magically woke up when he was in position two! I keep wondering if he did it on purpose? Maybe it was not the first time and he knew he can sleep and listen to the phone call at the same time?

I wonder what dr Guy Meadows, the Sleep School founder, would say about this?