Sensory heaven

Unexpected changes are difficult for us, autistics, aren’t they? But then, should we insist on always getting what we expected? And what if the change is for the better?

Anyway, that first week at work was still stressful, although I presume it was in large part due to my negative experiences from two previous workplaces. I didn’t sleep very well for good couple of weeks; approximately 5h per night, which is not great but it’s also not alarming. I am tired. I am now trying to create sensory heaven for myself, as much as it’s possible – I just had a long warm bath with some lovely body peeling, now I’m on my sofa and having some essential oils burning in my oil burner. It does seem to me like essential oils are more for winter than summer, but possibly that is just a limiting belief I need to deal with?

I was also trying to find a yoga studio that would offer classes in a nicely arranged environment but so far I didn’t find anything I’d like, which is a bit sad. I can be so sensitive sometimes to how space around me is arranged.

I also need to reflect on my improvement in communication, which I got a chance to practice at work last week but I think I’ll do that a bit later.

Just a quick hint for now: I realised that at least part of my problems with people is caused not directly by the fact that I’m autistic but rather by the fact that I don’t fit any stereotype. And what I mean by that is that despite of the fact there’s been so much drama in my life, my financial situation is good – this is just not something that people understand. And what I need to do about that is not trying to explain myself (which BTW is not even something that I ever wanted to do; I was only doing that because I thought it would solve the problem) and what I need to do instead is to create a communication smoke screen around me. I tried that a few times last week and it seems to be going OK – no one got upset and some people even found it funny.

I’ll reflect on that later. Bye bye for now.

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