Life is too short to be normal

I saw the above sentence yesterday and I liked it so much that I decided to make a blog post out of it. I must say it certainly feel like that to me now: after everything that has been happening I’m thinking, why would I be normal if other people around me are not?

I was wondering yesterday if it’s OK to take a shower while wearing clothes and apparently, according to Google, although it is ok, it is not considered very normal. But then who says what is and what isn’t normal in our society? What if this is what I want to do in this particular moment? Also I never feel very normal to begin with so should I not be doing more of those ‘not very normal’ things?

I’m not going to tell you whether I did it or not, as I don’t want to be judged, ok? Mind your own business. However, not wearing any knickers is apparently a good choice according to Google, while I’d say for me it is even more abnormal than taking a shower with clothes on. I’m not going to tell you if I did any of those things but I am deeply influenced by the title of this post.

Yesterday was so hot that it was the first time in my life that I would prefer it to be winter. Poland can get quite hot in summer; not as hot as Spain or Italy but certainly hotter than the UK and I never felt like I couldn’t cope with it, however John said the way how we experience temperature is affected by humidity. He was probably right. John is right most of the time. But when he’s wrong, he is terribly, horribly wrong. However, I just get on with it.

Mind you, yesterday wasn’t very sunny which was quite concerning for me because it made me think that if it was sunny, it would be even hotter. The temperature in Swindon was 37 degrees Celsius yesterday and please do not ask me to convert for you into Fahrenheit, this is just not what I do on my blog, right? Now, at 6.50am, it’s apparently only 18, but obviously my flat didn’t cool down yet.

As you can probably see I am getting a bit assertive. You need to judge yourself if it’s a good thing or not, because I cannot tell.

Anyway, I read a post on autistic female Facebook group where one lady was complaining she’d like to feel accepted but she didn’t tell people at work that she’s autistic and she’s still acting like a social neurotypical. As much as I feel sorry for her for not feeling secure enough to share her diagnosis with coworkers, I also don’t think that ‘unmasking’ will bring her the feeling of acceptance. This is because 1. I don’t believe in unmasking to begin with. I can see that all my behaviour when I’m around other people is a result of choice; I only feel I am fully myself when I’m on my own. Acting like an introvert is easier than acting like an extremely sociable person but it’s still acting. 2. I believe feeling accepted is a result of using social reciprocity and for us this is not working very well. I don’t even feel accepted when I’m with John; which doesn’t mean I feel uncomfortable around him in any way. He just doesn’t give me the feeling of being accepted but I get on with it without much thinking.

That lady also said that she shared her diagnosis with one of the supervisors and he’s avoiding her now, so she’s reluctant to share with more people. However, the supervisor may be avoiding her because he wants to help her to reduce social demands, especially when he sees she’s putting so much effort to play sociable person with other employees.

The Friend is coming over today. I can’t wait. However, my flat is not extremely clean… well, she’ll have to adjust I suppose.

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