Mind you, this is just a theory. It’s about my fiancé, John, refusing to tell me that he was working on his communication skills over the last couple of months, even though that refusal was so distressing to me that at some point I was worried that I’d end up psychotic again. (Mind you, I got over it).
But I know from reading stuff online that similar issues are common in autistic men.
So the theory that I just came up with: autistic men do those things in close relationships because they see other people hide things about themselves to make themselves look better. They also see that this is widely accepted, I mean everyone knows the truth but no one is trying to forcefully expose it, so they want to be treated the same way: accepted, possibly even admired, for the fact that they hide things.
And only the things that they choose to hide are different than what neurotypicals hide.
I wonder what can be done about that? And you know what I think: possibly nothing. We have to accept them as they are.
I, for that matter, twist things. Everyone twists things to get what they want, so when I was little I decided I’d be twisting too. I don’t do it that often, mind you. And only I choose differently what to twist and that confuses people because they don’t expect it. But don’t you dare telling me to stop. If you want me to stop the entire world has to stop twisting first.
So possibly it’s the same thing with autistic men trying to hide things about themselves, even though everyone knows? Maybe we just have to let them and appreciate them for that. Because that how we would treat a neurotypical man.