It will actually be a year in a few days since I got sacked. Now, guess what? That company found my CV on Indeed and they now want me back.

This is too much to process at the moment, with all my diagnosis drama. I may need to go to the ice cream place later on but now I’m at home, doing the digital images.

My psychiatric nurse didn’t respond, even though I sent her three texts and I got automatic response from PALS, which is kind of ‘customer service’ for our mental health provider, that they are very busy due to Covid (I can’t really see the connection, that must be an excuse of some kind).

I am getting quite uncomfortable. I really want to get rid of that stupid diagnosis. It brought me nothing, but trouble.

I mean, ok, the understanding that I’m oversensitive to noise and don’t understand social situations well is good, but self awareness was enough for me to get there. I didn’t need an official label to confirm that.

The doesn’t make people understand me any better. Some assume that I don’t understand people at all. Others think that me and my boyfriend don’t work. And fair enough, they won’t be able to understand everything, it’s just not possible. There’s so many conditions that I don’t understand and don’t spend time to understand, simply because I just don’t have that time.

But the label the diagnosis gives me and the lack of understanding requires me to be someone that I am not. I can’t cope with that at all.