I had a chat over email today with dr Kate Cooper, autism researcher from University of Bath. The chat was about how to communicate with talkative people at work.

As I probably mentioned, in my line of work chatting is very common. Sometimes people get so absorbed in it that they look like they’re ignoring the clients (who are often nonverbal or only able to speak a few words). Yet, chatty people are seen as caring. And I’m not saying they’re not, only that it’s so easy for them to put their social needs above everything else and I think they need to be given special training in order to stop doing that.

After a short email exchange Kate suggested that I should consider explaining to my colleagues towards the beginning of the shift that I find long conversations difficult. And I must say, as much as it seems to make sense, the idea makes me rather uncomfortable.

Other people don’t need to make themselves vulnerable to get their needs met, why I am expected to do that then? Also, even though I’m autistic, I see this type of direct communication as abrupt and rude. I would also find it difficult to decide when it’s the right moment to say that.

So basically, I still don’t know what I should do in similar situations. It somehow makes me feel like giving up: it’s been six and half years since I realised I’m autistic and I’m not anywhere close to end my communication difficulties. It is so upsetting when I think that other people get all of that instinctively.