I often wonder, how come someone who has no relationship, almost no friends and can’t keep a job, can be such a skillful manipulator like my brother.

I feel bad now about everything that I have. I feel like I should think and worry about him, about the fact that he has no food and can’t pay his electricity bills. Somehow though he has enough money to buy beer.

I’m absolutely freezing after getting wet in town but I found some knitted socks in the house, they’re not woolen but they’re quite thick.

I have issues with cold, it can apparently be autism related. It takes ages for me to get warm after being in a cold. Sometimes I may lay next to a heater and my skin is hot to touch but I will still feel cold inside. I guess it’s difficult to understand that for people who don’t experience the same issue.

I feel sad being at home without my mum. I wish I could spend more time with her, do stuff like we used to. Maybe make pierogi. She was quite a good cook, but not appreciated by anyone in the house.

I believe she deserved better life than she had but I can’t do anything about. I wish to be able to tell her something that will make her feel better but I’m not good at talking and the care home doesn’t even give us any privacy. Mum is always in bed with 5 other people in the same room and the distance between beds is less than a meter.