Tag: psychosis
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Difficult memories
I’m in Galeria Tomaszów, our most modern shopping centre, only built a few years ago. Shops are closed but restaurants, cafes and children play area are open. I bought an ice cream and a drink and I’m currently sitting on a fake leather round sofa. It’s not very busy, which is good. Being here reminds […]
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Noise
I was woken up by some noise, like if someone was walking (there’s another person in the hostel) and I thought it was my dad. He used to walk through the house at night when other people were sleeping. And then I realised I’m not at home and my dad died a year and a […]
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Coping
I was just thinking how mum always tried to help me to cope with things. She didn’t seem to understand the world around her very well but had good ideas sometimes. Her ideas helped me organise a lift to the airport at the beginning of lockdown when majority of buses got cancelled and we only […]
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‘The Company’
My post in Status quo about Home Group (aka The Company) is still up and I’m not psychotic. I only posted about it as I was under enormous stress, on one side I had my mum, the fraud, power of attorney and me trying to work out whether I should tell my mum that she […]
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Morning of The Day
I’ll be leaving my hostel in a few minutes to get to mum’s care home, to sign power of attorney. Google map says it’s 30 minutes walk, that means I need to allocate at least 45. Weather is not very nice but it’s not raining. The night in a hostel was OK. For the price […]
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Counting sleep at 4.40am
Since my second psychotic episode I tend to count how many hours I slept when I go through stress. I went to bed just after 10pm so it’s enough for not developing another episode. I must say sleep wise I cope much better that I thought, I only had to take zopiclone twice since I […]
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Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of […]
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One level above everyone else
Till last year, after my mum moved in with me and I started reading about it, I didn’t really know how alcoholism looks like. My brother very often doesn’t even look drunk, or at least I wouldn’t notice if I didn’t speak with him for a bit longer. I didn’t know that neglecting every single […]
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Woke up early
I went to sleep just after 22.30 and woke up before 2am. That’s not a lot of sleep, but should be ok in terms of my mental health (my two psychotic episodes were inducted by stress and insomnia.) Strange that I don’t feel tired at all. It would still be nice to sleep now. It’s […]
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Never say that to psychiatric patient with Asperger’s
When I was in psychiatric hospital after my second psychotic episode I asked the staff what is going to happen with me if I don’t get better and he said ‘Just take your medication’. For me that sounded like if he was telling me to take an overdose. Of course I knew that’s not what […]
Autistic and me 